There have been recent communication disagreements with my 2 daughters.
Having disagreements with family is obviously more personal than with a co-worker, but they're also harder to work through. My oldest daughter wants to move to Florida and start a new life down there, but she has no actual plan and no roadmap for her to get down there and succeed; she wants to just go and be there to live everything out like she's been planning. My second eldest daughter is having a serious lack of motivation to go back to school and she always thinks I'm attacking her when I ask her what her plans for the future are.
Beginning with my eldest; I just want her to go down there and succeed like she wants. I have no doubt she will be able to, but I also don't want her to think that this is all going to be easy, because it's not going to be. She understands the consequences, but I can't seem to make it clear to her that I'm just being overprotective rather than overbearing.
My second eldest and I always seem to butt heads, and I'm sure it's because of the personality differences. She always thinks I'm attacking her, but in reality, I'm just trying to figure out where she's heading so she doesn't get stuck like I did. I want her to be successful and I want the very best for her. I want her to understand the consequences of her waiting too long to go to school, but I think she wants to be young and live her life and not have to worry about the consequences; which I understand. It's just hard to reason with, coming from a parent's point of view.
Catherine, I think that your post was very interesting. I can't respond from a parental point of view, but I can from an educator point of view. I have learned within my own a few factors that might help. First, normally with teens you have to say the opposite if what you actually want (lol). I am not sure why, but they always take the opposite road of what the parent/advisor is saying. Second, Life does not always plan out the same way that we have it planned out. There will be some bumps in the road, the important part is that you have taught her the basics to get around the bumps. For example, when I left for school I had no plans I just knew I was going to school. Literally, I ended up staying with a friend. But, somehow I managed through all the peer pressure and temptation to graduate without getting pregnant and into drugs with a degree. I will say that I was listening to my parents over the years, even though it didn't show. Finally, just be patient with them, because someone was patient with you. Hopefully, this helps.
ReplyDeleteHello Catherine,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post. It is good to know we are not only when dealing with young adults parent everywhere are facing your same situation. No matter how you try to help them make the best decision possible, it seems as though they go the other way. As a mother of two young adults I found out it is better on my heart to let them make their own decision and hope that God guide them throughout their entire life; because when you ask them to go right to avoid detrimental situation, they seems to go left. Another thing I learned about young adults they have to learn and gather their own experiences in life, even if it is through trial and error. We made it through our trails and error they will too. Although we want to help them avoid them.